Often times we like to imagine what our future will look like. We paint these ideals with vivid color and expectation. When things don’t turn out how we imagine, we are disappointed, sometimes devastated. I can identify with that feeling more than I’d like to admit. My discipline and diet on my journey to the NPC Bikini Competition has taught me to turn these types of events, feelings and expectations into motivation and maybe even excitement!
There are so many times that I reaffirm how important the journey is instead of the actual destination or expectation. Had things turned out the way I wanted them to, I might have missed countless special conversations with people. I may have missed opportunities to help someone or lead by example had I not struggled to get there first. I have five weeks until my competition and other people are starting to notice the changes in me spiritually and physically. I just stopped by the new Hi-Health store on Friday, (20th st/Camelback) to get a few more things before I compete. I got to spend time with new friends and engage in really encouraging talk which got me excited for the unknown!
Recently, I met someone that kept telling me how they couldn’t understand the way God works. For the first time in several months, I felt excited to hear that. I had struggled with this so many times, and now I realize understanding is not a requirement to keep on going. I know that I don’t know, and that’s ok! No expectation or goal is going to take over the experience of my journey. Would I like to place at the competition? Sure, that would be a treat. But honestly, just getting on stage with other athletes, the day to day training and the dedication has been so rewarding already. I can shed tears just because I’m grateful but this was a place I had to come to recently. I am sure blessed that I did.
I expected so many wild things for myself before I began on this path. None of these were even close to the awesome things I’ve received and I’m not finished yet! If you would’ve told me six months ago that I would be single, living a new condo with family, have an entirely new group of supportive friends and my loyal friends from my past, and that I’d be competing in a physical competition in a bikini, I would’ve laughed in your face hysterically. If you would have told me a year ago that when I looked inside my gym bag I’d have clear stripper shoes (for posing classes) and a Bible (Wednesday Bible share group) I would’ve died laughing...yet here I am.
FAITH: started reading The Story
FOOD: changed diet up again, more complex carbs, added kava kava at night for rest, and fish oil
FITNESS: 5 weeks out and practicing on posing and shrinking my core! Plus, CARDIO everyday except Sunday!